Monday, May 16, 2022
Understand Your Ability

These 9 Signs Mean Someone Is Exploiting You.

In this world, some people deserve to be defended, and there are also people that we should leave immediately. Those…

By Moses , in Empathy , at October 3, 2020 Tags: ,

In this world, some people deserve to be defended, and there are also people that we should leave immediately. Those who are worthy of being on your side are the ones who have shown their quality to you, and you should treat them equally. Not necessarily always close together, but continue to provide you with their support despite the distance.

But there are also those who always come when they need it and disappear when everything is done. This is what you are being used for. They can put on a sweet and kind face so that you have empathy for them. You know, exploitation can be very sneaky and covert, but it’s not flawless either. There are always things that you can pay attention to if you think you’re being exploited.

From now on, you have to care more about yourself. Don’t spend your time on people who have never taken you seriously. If you experience these things, you must begin to realize the probability of exploitation.

Read also: Narcissists You May Be Attracting

They never ask how you are but somehow appear asking for help.

After graduation is usually the time when we return to society and experience some real life, some are busy looking for work; others decide to look for luck outside the city. Those who are loyal to you will try to maintain communication with you regardless of their distance with you. It doesn’t have to be a determinant of whether the communication is smooth or not though. There are SMS, chat, social media and telephone services.

If they never felt the need to maintain communication with you but somehow appear asking for your help, then you have the right to doubt them. I mean, out of everyone on their contact list, why it has to be you?

They don’t care about your well-being.

Never mind coming to your house and talk; they never even ask the news about you. Even after all that, they suddenly appear nicely with sweet sentences like ‘How are you? You know … ‘Not that negative thinking, but it fits for you to ask questions, right?

They are dishonest.(Exploiting You)

Is there any reason for them to be honest when their purpose is to exploit you? No.

Instead of telling you what their intentions are from the beginning, they intentionally deceive you into doing something for their benefits. You may ask why they have to deceive you when you’re probably willing to help them if they’re honest. But, is that even the case? You should know that there’s no limit to what an exploiter may lie about; it can be their life, their actions, their motivations, their feelings, or anything. Provided that they already have goals at hand, anything can happen.

If you think they’re exploiting you, you should doubt their behaviours. Don’t expect them to be completely honest with you. You may talk through it with them and specifically ask for their honesty, and then see whether they change their tune or not. Remember, this set of people require sincerity and positive actions from you before they can fully trust you. However, don’t think that you can give it to them freely.

Never brings cash, so you always end up paying for them.

Borrowing money can be a sensitive issue and even damage friendships. You who have never been so calculated may be accustomed to assist your friends in need. Well, ten or twenty bucks is okay though, for the sake of a friend. But you must be cautious if he/she has done it many times. Added with all the complaints and reasons for borrowing money, as if you are the only one who can be relied upon.

Not necessarily being stingy or reluctant to help your friends, but remember that you are not a cash machine. Your kindness can make an easy target of exploitation.

Always refuse to help.(Exploiting You)

They who always invite you all of a sudden, relying on you to do this and that, and somehow always busy whenever you need them, you need to pay attention to these people. They use various reasons without sounding far-fetched. Not only that, but they also inserted sentences of regret and offered sincere apologies to you. But if this happens many times, you should be able to guess that they never considered you a full friend because friends will definitely try to come when you need help.

Praising to please you.

A good friend is a friend who always supports your every effort. But that doesn’t mean they have never criticized you and just approve of what you said and done. A good friend is the one who doesn’t hesitate to remind you when you are on the verge of error. While he/she who is always complimenting, who only says what you want to hear, could actually not care for you. Since whether you’re right or wrong, there is no benefit to them.

Making you feel guilty all the time.(Exploiting You)

When someone is exploiting you, their goal is to make you think or do something that he/she wants, even for something that you don’t really like. They often use feelings like guilt and shame against you so that you have no choice but to follow what they want.

For instance, some people always feel guilty for not being able to help their friends in the time of need. And this is exactly how you are being exploited; they’re paying close attention to your weaknesses. And since you want to get rid of the guilty feeling, which is of course spotted by them, they will use it against you.

Never ask for your opinion in making decisions.

For every plan made together, your opinion is always ignored. Either because you are considered to always agree to whatever the outcome of the agreement or you are just to be onion fertilizer, a.k.a your presence is only for cannon fodder.

In an agreement, your position should be equal to the other party, or at least according to whatever it’s stated on the contract. If you are always removed from mutual deliberation and suddenly forced to say ‘yes’, maybe your existence is not important to them. Maybe be they just need something from you, but they never care about you.

They expect sacrifice.(Exploiting You)

Since they don’t care about you, it’s clear that your sacrifice is necessary. They want you to keep sacrificing things for them so that they may achieve what they want. And the moment you stop doing it, they may accuse you as if you’ve terribly wronged them.

Once or twice, it’s okay to sacrifice your things for your friend, but if you keep doing it again and again, while they always feel that you’re never giving enough, then it’s clear that you’re being exploited. This even more so if they’re never willing to do anything in return since their purpose is just to take advantage of you.